In Memory of Richard Bradley Spaugh

As most of you know already my brother Brad lost his battle with brain cancer on May 12, 2011. I have gone back and forth about posting anything on my blog about this, but this blog is about the lives we lead and Brad was a big part of that. So I am posting this in his honor.

Richard Bradley Spaugh

May 12, 1970 - May 12, 2011

This was a poem that was read at Brad's memorial on Saturday. At this time it is a great expression of how we feel.

AND GOD SAID

I said,"God, I hurt."And God said,"I know."

I said,"God, I cry a lot."And God said,"That is why I gave you tears."

I said,"God, I am so depressed."And God said,"That is why I gave you Sunshine."

I said, "God, life is so hard."And God said,"That is why I gave you loved ones."

I said,"God, my loved one died."And God said,"So did mine."

I said,"God, it is such a loss."And God said,"I saw mine nailed to the cross."

I said,"God, but your loved one lives."And God said,"So does yours."

I said,"God, where are they now?"And God said,"Mine is on My right and yours is in the Light."

I said,"God, it hurts."And God said,"I know."

Losing someone you love it the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Our family has forever changed, but I know now that I have the best guardian angle anyone could ask for. My brother is completely healed and will be waiting on me and the rest of our family when they day comes for us to join him in Heaven. For now I will miss him terribly. I love you Brad and you will forever be with me.

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all my wonderful momma friends and also to my wonderful Mom! I hope you all had a blessed day with your family. I know I did. We had a lazy morning until it was time to go to church. We visited another church in our town. Tried to get a picture of me and my girls before we left.

I got some very sweet things from my girls. Katie made this at school. She wrote out all of her answers on her own. I will translate as at the K age they write like it sounds...which I found completely adorable. Also, the pic is not that great...my flash is blinding some of the words.

My mom always says: I love me (which i hope she means I love you...I promise I don't walk around saying I love me)
My mom cooks the best: pesu (I had to ask what this was and she said pizza).
My mom really loves: Me
My mom and I like to: pray
My favorite clothes to wear are: Pink sweater
My mom is beautiful because she: loves me

Chris and the girls got me a card and some flowers


At church both the girls worked together to make me this.

I try and think back to the days before I had the girls. Both Chris and I can barely remember what we used to do or how our life was without them. I used to think my life was full before kids but I was so wrong. My life has be abundantly blessed by these little girls. They make me laugh everyday. I love to see their smiling faces in the morning. I love the hugs and kisses I get throughout the day. How they can be so sweet and not so sweet all in about a 5 min range. I love their creativity and watching life through their eyes. I love you Katie and Bree and I am so thankful to be your momma.

Third Place Baby!!!!

Saturday morning I ran a 5K at the beach next to our house, Topsail Beach. It was a summer kick off run and helps raise money for beautification of the beaches. The 5k's I have previously ran have all been pretty big numbers, and I keep forgetting we live in a really small town now, so the turn out for the race was let's say on the small side. There were probably in total no more than 40 people running. When I saw this I was a little nervous, as I didn't want to be the last one finishing....and there were some younger runners. I kept laughing telling Chris this might be a little embarrassing....but maybe it was what gave me motivation.

Me and the girls on one of the piers before the race started.

The first mile was actually on the beach and then we got off the beach and ran the last part on the road. I have never ran on sand and I can tell you it is a lot harder than it look. It took a lot out of me in that first mile. I honestly felt like my legs were going to just refuse to go any further.



So I said my motivation was not to finish last...well somewhere during this race my motivation became that I didn't want to let a 25 year old beat me out of coming in third place. I started out being the lead for female in the race and stayed in fourth the last half of the race. I was pacing behind a girl the last mile and half of the race. She knew I wasn't far behind because every time I got close to passing her she would see my shadow on the road and would speed up a little to get more distance. So I decided to keep my pace until I could see the finish line and then I would just give it all I have so I could pass her and try to come in third. Shameful I know, but I just didn't want to get beat by a 25 year old.

The last 10th of a mile I started sprinting. The girl in front of me didn't know I was coming up behind her until her friends on the side started yelling "RUN, RUN". So we both were sprinting to the finish line. I literally gave it everything I had and ended up coming in third. My time was 36:35. After I crossed the finish line I felt like I could die. Sprinting like that probably not the best thing to do....but my girls were so proud. They were cheering like crazy at the finish line for me.

Here I am trying to catch my breath and really just want to lay down on the ground for awhile.
My trophy......I would never come in third on a big 5K race but I will take my 3rd place small town win. I was proud that I hung in there and was able to still keep by 12 min pace after slacking on my running for the past few months.

Life at the Beach

The perk of living so close to the beach is that you can go anytime....now the downside of this is that is does lead to some drama when you have to tell your two beach loving little girls that we can't go EVERY DAY!!!!!

The girls did manager to squeeze a few trips to the beach out of me this week. The water is FREEZING COLD, but that didn't slow then down at all. They played and played in the water.

Here they were working on building a pond in the sand....lots of trips to get water

Here they were heading out to play in the waves. It was so cute, every time that they walked out into the wave they would hold hands. Such a great sister moment.

Playing in the waves.

Hopefully soon the water will be warmer....I had my feet in it and they were freezing. When we left the girls lips were blue and teeth were chattering. I guess it was well worth it though. :)

Easter Weekend

Easter weekend was a little different for us this year. This was the first time in I don't know how many years that we weren't actually in church for Easter Sunday. As most of you know, my brother Brad is not progressing well at all in his battle with his brain tumors. About a week ago, the doctors told him there was nothing more they could do to help him. The called in hospice and are keeping him as comfortable as possible. Brad's wife Kim we open to letting us come see him so we headed down to Texas over Easter weekend to spend some time with him. As I was gone with my parent, Kevin and Brandy; Chris stayed back at the house with the girls. He had them for four days and boy did they do lots.

Every time I called they were going here or going there...trips to Chuck E Cheese, many trips to the beach, went to the grocery store, trip to Walmart, Easter egg hunts...etc. I think he was making up for lost time since he hasn't see the girls for a little while, when we were in TN. I am glad Chris was able to make Easter weekend special for them. They were excited that the Easter Bunny came to see them as well. Even though we didn't make it to church on Easter, the girls still got to wear their Easter dresses to mom and dads church the Sunday before. I thought they looked so cute.

As for our visit with Brad, it was a very special time. It is hard to see someone you love in such a condition that they struggle to move, talk, eat and just do the basic things in life. We know our time with Brad is limited here on earth, but I a so thankful that my heart rest on the promises of our loving savior Jesus. I know beyond any doubt that one day I will see Brad again and will get to spend eternity with him. Letting him go is hard, but I am thankful to have Jesus to get me through this time. I can't imagine going through something like this and not have Him to talk to, lean on and just cry to. My heart truly goes out to those who don't have that relationship with Jesus....they are missing out no doubt. I also want to thank everyone who has been and will continue to pray for Brad, Kim and all of us. It is amazing to see all the support through prayer and how much strength it can give you.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter and were able to spend sometime reflecting on what Jesus did for us. It is because of what he did I know that my eternity will be spent with Him and I look forward to that day. Happy Easter!!!